February is often associated with flowers, candy and love. February is also National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, and Attorney General Peter Kilmartin is joining forces with the Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence (RICADV) to urge teens, parents and educators to take the time to learn how to recognize the signs of dating violence and abuse so they can help prevent it.
According to a study by the National Council on Crime and Delinquency Focus, approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner – a figure that far exceeds victimization rates for other types of violence affecting youth.
“It is critical that we use this month to remember that domestic violence is not just a problem for adults,” said Attorney General Peter F. Kilmartin. “The repercussions of teen dating violence are impossible to ignore – they hurt not just the young people victimized but also their families, friends, schools and communities. This Valentine’s Day, parents can give their children the gift of love by having a serious conversation about relationships and how to avoid being a victim of teen dating violence.”
This year, the RICADV is partnering with www.Hkupwithrespect.com – a social networking site and video project that helps teens talk about what’s cool and what’s not in relationships. Developed by Rhode Island youth and run through Sojourner House, hkupwithrespect is funded by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation’s national Start Strong program to prevent teen dating violence.
“This year’s teen campaign promotes healthy relationships by giving young people the tools to make positive choices,” said Lucy Rios, director of prevention at the RICADV. “Our goal is to stop dating abuse before it starts.”
Violent relationships have serious consequences for victims – putting them at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, suicide and adult re-victimization. Now is the time to educate ourselves about the seriousness of teen dating violence and the prevalence of this epidemic in our lives.
While young people experience the same types of abuse as adults, often the methods are unique to teen culture. For example, teens often report "technological abuse" — receiving threats by text messages or being stalked on Facebook.
“With the explosion of texting and social networking sites, teen dating violence is becoming increasingly more prevalent. Sending unwanted text messages, pressuring for nude pictures, breaking into social networking sites, and other controlling behavior that occurs electronically is often not recognized as abuse by teens. And when teens are abused these ways, they often don’t know how to talk about it or get help,” continued Attorney General Kilmartin.
Cell phones and the internet have become prime environments for dating abuse. One in four teens in a relationship say they have been called names, harassed or put down by their partner through cell phones and texting. Thirty percent of teens have been text messaged 10, 20 or 30 times an hour by a partner wanting to know where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with. Sixty eight percent of teens say that boyfriends/girlfriends sharing private or embarrassing photos/videos on cell phones and computers are a serious problem.
What's Teen Dating Violence? Teen dating violence is abusive behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner.
What Does Dating Violence Look Like? Teens and young adults experience the same types of abuse in relationships as adults do. This can include:
Physical abuse: any intentional use of physical force with the intent to cause fear or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking or using a weapon
Emotional abuse: non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking
Sexual abuse: any action that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including rape, coercion or restricting access to birth control
What Are the Warning Signs of Abuse While there are many warning signs of abuse, here are ten of the most common abusive behaviors:
Checking your cell phone or email without permission
Constantly putting you down
Acting extremely jealous or insecure
Having an explosive temper
Demanding to know where you are and who you are with all the time
Isolating you from family or friends
Undergoing large mood swings
Physically hurting you in any way
Being possessive
Telling you what to do
How to Get Help If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911.
Local Resources Victims of Crime Helpline 24 hour Hotline 1-800-494-8100
Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence www.ricadv.org
Start Strong Rhode Island www.startstrongteens.org
Hkup With Respect www.hkupwithrespect.com
National Resources National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 866‐331‐9474 866‐331‐8453 TTY www.loveisrespect.org The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline offers one‐on‐one service from peer advocates. The helpline operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and offers translation services. Assistance via online chat services is available four p.m. to midnight CST, 7 days a week.
National Domestic Violence Hotline 800‐799‐SAFE (7233) 800‐787‐3224 TTY www.ndvh.org The National Domestic Violence Hotline, operating 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, offers services in more than 170 languages. The hotline provides crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) Hotline 800‐656‐HOPE (4673) www.rainn.org
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network offers assistance 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Callers are automatically directed to on‐duty volunteers to answer questions and provide support and local resources.
That’s Not Cool www.thatsnotcool.com
Break the Cycle www.breakthecycle.org
National Center for Victims of Crime ‐ Dating Violence Resource Center www.ncvc.org